Yup its almost there...a few more weeks and my first college year is over....

Speaking of which....college has not been that fun....
My grades have slipped substantially from my highschool days.
I've gone from straight A's to scraping out C's...
This semester has been slightly better since i've got a couple B's

But I'm still pretty much socially gone...
I've made a few friends...kinda...i hang with them a bit but i don't know that i've really connected to much...

I havn't been able to make it to Formula at all due to class work....so that's really sucked..
Orchestra was terrible at the beginning of the semester and just now started to get better. We're finally playing some cool stuff for this last concert....

But the biggest thing so far is the fact that I've lost basically all of my connections back home...
I still talk to like 1 or 2 people back home every now and then...but mostly its just me.
And my on-again-off-again-ex has now found someone else back in ATL.
I knew it would happen sooner or later...it was just a matter of time. I knew that there would be guys climbing over each other to get to her as soon as I left. She was just one of the last ties back home i had left that i could cling to...and now thats gone too.

I really don't like where my life has headed...
When i was in Highschool, i always wanted to get out of Georgia. I hated it so much. I loved being with my friends tho. that was really cool! And i guess i had always thought that we'd all just keep together. Then i met Nat. And everything changed, but I had already obligated myself to leave...I was enrolled here, we had set up getting me into housing and gotten the ball rolling towards residency. Since i was paying for none of it, I really didn't have a choice to change it all at the last min. Even when i tried, Dad still didn't see the significance of me staying for her. I don't think he ever really liked Nat.

I miss my friends...

The things that i treasured most have come to haunt me. I liked working by myself, i liked having freedom, i liked quite, and i liked solitude.
But now that i have them in almost their true, pure forms....i hate them.

I long for those that knew me, and understood me. I'm frightened by all the things that i must now do on my own. All the things i have to take care of...I'm afraid of making mistakes....more so than usual.

Being a tiny ass fish in this HUGE ASS ocean just sucks....

I knew everyone in highschool...now i know no-one.

I've made a terrible decision...but i'm afriad to face my father with it.
I don't want to tell him i want to come back..but then when i think about coming back...
It almost seems pointless....i've already lost all my conections with the people there anyway...and most of them arn't even there now either. Woodstock is deserted of my friends.

And i can't get Nat back now either....

It's cool..and its lonely....this world we live in.....